Making Videos of the Grandchildren

When grandchildren live too far away for frequent visits grandparents can enjoy the next best thing by viewing videos of their growing grandchildren. Once a rather complicated procedure, advancements in today’s video cameras have made it easy for even the most inexperienced videographer to produce good quality films.

Choosing Equipment

Video equipment need not be elaborate or expensive. Small, handheld video camcorders are widely available for a small sum and even the most basic models have more features than the average person will ever need.

There are a number of websites available that allow consumers to browse video equipment, comparing features side by side, which can be especially useful since salespeople in shops may be inclined to simply recommend the highest priced models.

Some mobile phones, even very affordable ones, have the capability to record and send video clips. Recipients can view a short video only moments after it is recorded.

The Next Best Thing to Being There

There are few things duller than sitting through stilted, posed video of people grinning and stiffly waving at the camera. Ideally, home videos should capture the personalities of family members and record them having fun and being silly.

Children make especially good subjects since they are rarely inhibited and are happy to express their every mood on film. Some of the best moments in family videos were often shot when children weren’t aware that they were being filmed, so keeping the camera handy to capture everyday events.

In addition to day to day video clips, parents can record special occasions in their children’s lives, allowing grandparents to enjoy the festivities, even if they live too far away to attend. School pageants, athletic events, music recitals, and birthday parties are all important events in the lives of children that most grandparents would be delighted to watch.

Babies change and grow so quickly that if Grandma & Grandpa don’t live nearby, they can easily miss important milestones such as first words and first steps. With video, though, they can be a part of every new advancement that baby makes.

Time to Have Fun!

While video does a great job of capturing important family celebrations, using it can also be just plain fun. Many school aged kids would enjoy creating specialty videos for their grandparents’ entertainment.

Kids can be encouraged to act out short skits or sing along with music to create their own music videos, much like those of their favourite pop stars.

Grandparents can surprise their grandkids by returning the favour and sending videos of themselves reading beloved storybooks or sharing special memories.

Kids love stories in which they are the main characters, so if Grandma sends a video describing her thoughts and feelings about her memories of special times she has shared with her grandchildren, the kids are sure to appreciate the gesture.

Safe Shipping and Storage

In order to make videos last, care must be taken to preserve them. Manufacturer’s directions should be followed closely regarding proper storage. Temperature extremes should be avoided and if videos are to be shipped, they should be carefully cushioned before mailing.

It is best to make copies of special tapes, such as wedding videos before they are shipped, just in case the originals get lost in transit.

Transferring to sturdy media such as DVD may help to assure that movies stay safe. While family videos may not have much monetary value, they do hold enormous sentimental value.

24 thoughts on “Making Videos of the Grandchildren”

  1. We have not seen our granddaughters, ages 4 and 1 for 36 days and my husband and I can’t take it one more day. Our son and the mom had a fight, and that was it. This is after we have taken care of the girls for 4 days and nights a week; loved them and lived for them.

    No one will talk to us, from her family and we feel completely lost. I had to put up their toys, clothes and shoes and I can’t look at their pictures without having a complete breakdown.

    We have never hurt so much in our entire lives, and we are SO worried about those girls..If there is anyone out there that can talk to me or tell me about an online support group, please let me know. The mom swore she would never do this to us, I will never trust her again.

  2. I can’t say I know how you feel as everyone feels different emotions but I feel for you completely this is parental jealousy over how your relationship was between your grandchildren and yourselves and how the parents cant cope thinking of any one else loving there off spring. Many precious moments are lost by yourselves in the irrational behaviour of the parents denying there childrens pleasure of your company and you of there’s there is always a time when the parents just want to get the children from under there feet.

    Hopefully then they will contact you but please be warned the parents will more than likely cut you off time and time again so as I am persueing is a court order to stop the parents ripping your guts out again and again and more than anything destroying your hard earned relationship with there grandchildren purely out of spite.

  3. My son and his partner broke up just over a year after my granddaughter was born. Since then my granddaughters mother has on every occasion possible stopped him from seeing his daughter and also stopped me.

    We got my granddaughter back in our lives 3 years ago but there was a stupid incident at my sons new partners house and he was stopped from seeing her again. A year later after writing to the mother for over a year, I was allowed to go to see my granddaughter at her home, I was told there were rules and I was not allowed to mention my son at all so not to confuse the child. I agreed and enjoyed seeing my granddaughter as she means the world to me.

    During the visits I was subjected to my granddaughter calling her mother’s new partner daddy it was horrendous to say the least but I made a promise so I could not do anything else but endure this.

    One day my granddaughter who is 6 and I were looking through some pictures I had taken of her on my mobile phone, when she saw a picture of one of my son’s partner’s children and she stated “that is” and said his name and I said “that is right sweetheart”.

    She then asked “who is that next to him nana” because she saw an arm of someone (I know she knew exactly who it was) and I said “that is your daddy”, my little granddaughter said “my daddy is in the kitchen” and I said “no he isn’t sweetheart”.

    There was a long silence and then I said to her “your daddy misses you and loves you and is trying to see you”. My granddaughter then said “tell him I miss him and love him too nana”.

    That was the end of the conversation. To be honest I felt heartbroken. My son has suffered depression ever since he was stopped from seeing his daughter and so have I.

    When I got home her mother text me with lots of horrible untrue accusations and told me I was not allowed to see my granddaughter anymore because I had broken her rules. I stated it was and innocent conversation born of my granddaughter’s curiosity.

    I have written to her and even took my little granddaughter a present on her birthday, but she has not let me see her since.

    Since then my son has had a massive heart failure which led to kidney failure, coma and brain injury, he has been in hospital almost 5 months and slowly recovering after re writing the textbooks as they say and misses his daughter terribly.

    I have written my sons ex partner emails to keep her updated every week and sent my granddaughter love in them but I have had no reply at all.

    I don’t know how much more I can endure, my son is my only child and my little granddaughter is his only child, it has broken me as a person and I don’t know what to do.

  4. My two daughters have stop me seeing my grandchildren I have a drink problem and I lost control eight weeks ago and a lot off things I did I am really sorry for my other two daughters are not happy with it but they still come to my home and let the kids stay over I have been there for them and now I need them.

    I don’t know what to do. My husband has stuck by me so they stopped him too. When do grandchildren become weapons?

  5. Five years’ ago our son & his partner ( now daughter-in-law) cut off any contact with us when our granddaughter was 11 months old. Our son was asked to tell us that we were no longer liked as parents & grandparents. No explanation was given & we were told that things would never change.

    We’re certain that our son was put in the intolerable situation of having to choose between us and his child & he pleaded with us not to try to communicate.

    We waited 6 months before sending a letter to his partner to tell her of our bewilderment & to ask her to tell us what we had or had not done & suggested getting together in the hope of sorting out the situation, adding that life is too short to allow disagreements to cause separation from those we love. We had hoped that she might see reason, but the reverse happened & she went ballistic!

    Our son contacted us immediately & told us we had aggravated the situation to the extent that it would be best to imagine he didn’t exist.

    The last 5 years have been extremely painful for us & we now feel that perhaps we’ve nothing further to lose by writing to our son & telling him how we feel & asking them both to reconsider &try to heal the rift before it’s too late – we’re both in our mid-60’s, after all.

    We & our granddaughter are being mutually denied the natural, pleasurable human experience of a relationship. Our other two sons are also missing out as they have no contact either.

    Our youngest son married last year & has given us a beautiful grandson now 5 months old. We’re unsure of the best approach to take when so much water has gone under the bridge.

    We love all our family & healing this rift is our dearest wish. We would very much appreciate some words of advice

  6. @Mauri – it’s always heartbreakingly difficult when something like this happens, especially when it seems it is for no reason, or when that reason is withheld as it can eat you up inside wondering just what may have happened to produce such a reaction. The fact that you have contacted them once already, makes it difficult to contact them again when your son and daughter-in-law have expressed a wish that you don’t.

    However, there is a new charity called Stand Alone that may help you find others that are in your situation and see how they may have resolved such issues. You can access the link here.

  7. My son and his partner split up acrimoniously when their baby was less than one year old. The baby’s mother tried to hurt my son and our family by refusing us access to him.

    The baby is now approaching eleven years of age and we have been given reports that he has asked about and is wanting a father figure in his life. It is heart rendering to think that he wants a father when both his father and we his grandparents want to give him the love he obviously wants yet we can’t!

    We have just found that the mother has had the child’s surname changed to her maiden name and that she is keeping all information about his father from him. We’ve been told that one of the mother’s boyfriends was asked by the boy “Are you my father?”

    A rugby coach told us that he is a nice boy “very clingy – as if he wants a father figure”! On two occasions during his lifetime we have tried to gain access through the courts/justice system but have been thwarted by the high legal costs.

    What would happen if I found his school or something and approached him when he was alone – if possible – against his mother’s wishes?

  8. @Taff – most courts are accommodating to the fact a father figure is needed in a child’s life and don’t often refuse some sort of access. Our Separated Dads Facebook page also has a recent posting on about how fathers have represented themselves, it has lots of helpful advice. I hope this helps.

  9. My daughter died 2013 her ex partner as let his ex have both my grandkids now she has stopped me seeing them irs so upsetting as she is not a blood relative to them my grandson is 12 and she tells him his autistic. I don’t believe this and my granddaughter does not want to chat to me as she has turn her against me its all a mess.

  10. @chris – I am sorry to hear about your daughter. You don’t say whether their father is still involved, and why they are with her and not him, and where he is. If she is not their blood relative then you may have a case to take this through court and claim either guardianship or even residency, if the court thinks it would be in the best interests of the children.

    At least you should be able to get a court order for access. I should seek some legal advice and in the first instance apply for a contact order through the courts.

    You may also get some support and advice through the Grandparents’ Association regarding the best way to go about this. I hope this helps.

  11. My daughter passed away 3 years ago from Cancer at the age of 33. Leaving 3 small boys. Who then went to live with their father 2 hours away from where we live! He only lets us see the boys once a year…

    This year he wont let us take them on holiday or anything! My daughter warned us this would happen as she was just 1 week away from divorcing him before she died and he made her life very difficult!

    We miss the boys so much and they miss us so much as well. The youngest is only 6 now and the eldest is now 15. The 15 year old isn’t even his son, which he will not let us tell him. He became his guardian 2 years ago!

    I really do not know what to do for the best! If we tell my eldest grandson the truth, we might never see the younger two till they are 18. Please try and advise me what is the best course of action to take!

  12. I feel like crying when I read all of the experiences on this website. I know what it feels like because I have little or no access to seeing, talking with, laughing with my little 4 year old grandson.

    My son and his wife consider themselves educated but do not relate to the horror my grandson goes through during his 40 hour weeks of day-care (that never includes me as a caretaker or sitter, even though I am in an early childhood degree program).

    I know my darling grandson because when I did meet him sporadically, we hit it off famously (as grandparents find out when they meet their grandchildren: there is a spiritual link that only grandparents and grandchildren know, an indescribable connection and understanding and… love).

    I believe that some of the reasons why such parents so cruelly withhold these darling babies and children from their grandparents is:

    1. They are control-freaks who take out their psychological anger at their parents and the world by using human hostages, these defenceless babies.

    2. They have low ethics, morality, no conscience, and are power hungry and use these babies to dispense pain on both their parents and unwittingly on their own children.

    3.They cow tow to money: if you have a lot of money, they may let you see the children for a price.

    And, lastly, they believe they own these children.

    I believe children belong to God (others may believe in their own higher powers). Additionally and more obviously, they may feel jealous and threatened by the superb bond and laughter that exists between child and grandparent.

    Love to you all, grandparents extraordinaire!

  13. We have a beautiful 9 year grandson who from the age of 7 days old have cared regularly for and baby sat for his mother and our son. His mother and our son split when our grandson was 2 1/2 years old, I’m sorry to say that our son has taken up to now to step up to the mark and ask for his son to stay at his home for half the week with his new wife who has personal issues, we can’t explain why she doesn’t welcome open armed as everyone that knows our grandson does .

    We gave our grandson a loving home for 3monthsat the age of 4 years old whilst his mother chose to date a pub landlord and move into a flat above a pub that was totally impractical for a child to share a bedroom with her and her boyfriend ,always given him a open home and his mother a babysitter whenever she she wanted .

    My grandson is 3 years behind in his school work because his mother is too interested in spending time either on her phone or taking care of her appearance , not caring for my grandsons well being or caring for his day to day requirements such as washing daily or varied diet or daily reading with him .

    We have started getting restricted access to him week by week it’s fewer and fewer opportunities to see him even though I have for two years of his school life gone into read and help him with his school work for 2hours a day throughout his school year to help him try and catch up as he is so far behind , his mother with holm he lives doesn’t read at all at home nor has she bothered to help him at school, he has got statemented at school because he is so far behind no thanks to his mothers neglect.

    He is the sweetest most loving little boy who is seriously neglected by his mother and I’ve had enough treading on egg shells when speaking to her or texting her re our grandson . She has had 9 years to get her act together to be a better mum and I feel our grandson is being dealt a bad hand what can I do !!!!!!!

  14. My grandson’s mother and grandmother think their being clever involving Social services to stop my son seeing his son now me and my son’s mother can’t see him ,it is going to end up a mess the kids mother is not right in the head and I can see her loosing custody ,I think that her weird mother is instigating the whole mess coz the kids mother is quite dumb.

    I just hope it gets sorted before all the legal stuff occurs ,she has already Off loaded her other son to his grandmother ,she is a useless individual. Can’t wait but it has to be done properly and thick mother Gets thicker every day ,come on k, not long now son.

  15. My grandson is in foster care and has been for 18 months. He is 4yrs old now and I had voluntary care of him till he was 2yrs 6months old. He was put into care under a emergency compulsory care order on September 2015.

    My contact was cut down to 1 hour a month as social work claimed that he was distressed on way to and from the contact centre. Now they have undeemed me as a relevant person and stopped all contact with my grandson and myself.

    How can I challenge this to get the decision by the children’s hearing quashed. As it was made after the panel hearing a biased one sided report by the social work department.

  16. I’m afraid we cannot answer this as it is beyond our remit, and given the decision has been made through the courts. You would have to seek professional legal advice in order to see whether you have a case to take it to appeal.

  17. I have not seen my 2 beautiful granddaughters for 18 months. It just breaks my heart.

    My son and his wife are together, they just no longer want me as part of their daughters lives. I have met up with my son a few times but he just talks about films they have seen etc. Not about the reasons I cannot see granddaughters and what I can do to change this.

    My daughter-in-law has been rude and ignorant towards my for years, also I have never been included in ‘family’ outings, only her family and my ex (son’s father) are invited to these

  18. @susie – I really feel for you here. Have you thought of sending a letter to try and open up the discussion? Jan.

  19. We have had no contact with my grandchildren for three years now we have two granddaughters who we have not seen new born at the time we were not told why just told to stay away and a nasty text l cannot tell how how l feel as hurt we both feel.

    l wrote a letter to them few weeks ago but no answers just need help as l know lots of people out there with same stories how do we fix this l don’t know lost all confidence in my self l don’t go out and shut myself off .

  20. Our son and our daughter in law have 3 children ages 12, 9 and 6. Our son has been on rocky terms since his teenage years when substance abuse became an issue. He got involved in the law and spent some time in young offenders and was kicked out of school.

    One such time in young offenders was as a result of a charge I laid for assault and he spent 4 months in young offenders. That was an extremely difficult decision for me to make but he wasn’t in school, was getting high all the time and I felt it was a safe place, he would be getting some education while there and counselling as well.

    We visited every weekend and called him every night and he returned back home. He was always blamed us for anything that has gone wrong in his life and feels we abandoned him at that point.

    He cannot seem to understand that difficult decision was made because we loved him. He now wants nothing more to do with us and is keeping our grandchildren from us as well. We are heartbroken by all this.

    He won’t let us talk to them, he’s blocked us from emails & social media. I’ve sent cards to them and try texting my grand daughter but never get a response so I have no idea if she is receiving my texts or not. My husband has written to our son, we’ve apologized for anything we may have done to hurt him and his family but still nothing.

    How do I explain to my grandchildren why we are no longer visiting them, why we are no longer calling?

  21. @Cher – gosh that’s a tough story. Your son obviously holds a long term grudge and is refusing to move on from it. There’s not much you can do accept hope that he eventually mellows with age.

    His kids are his kids and he as their parent chooses who they should see or not. If you’ve been in their lives constantly to date then you may be able to apply for some sort of contact through the courts.

    But, if you have always been estranged – you can’t force yourself upon your son, it’s his choice at the end of the day, no matter how sad 🙁

  22. We have an established, long term relationship with our grand daughter who is 4 years old. She has been visiting us at our home every other weekend for the last 2 and a half years since my son and his wife split up. His wife has a new boyfriend in her life since December of 2018.

    My son left the area in October of 2018 to look for work as he could not obtain decent employment here. His ex wife has decided that our grand daughter is not going to be coming to our house anymore.

    We are heart broken as we love this little girl very much and she loves us as well. She was always eager to spend time with us and was very happy at our place. We have proof that her mother and her family are prone to mental disorders and have or are on medication for these disorders.

    Our granddaughters mother has quit a few jobs due to stress and has obtained doctor’s notes to try and obtain unemployment insurance, which did not work. The mother is now stating that our grand daughter is having separation anxiety when she is away from her and that our grand daughter has said she does not want to come to our house anymore.

    We believe she is being influenced by her mother’s family to say these things. They have never liked us and are trying to cut us out of her life. We have filed a petition with the court to re-instate our visits and were wondering if anyone has any advise that may help us get our visits with our little girl back. Thank you.

  23. Both my sons ex wives have stopped me video calling and contact with my two grandchildren in the UK. I always had a wonderful relationship with both the children. I wonder what the Mothers have told them why I am not contacting them.

    It breaks my heart to think my grandchildren think I longer love or care for them. Who can I contact to assist me, there is no court order or anything like that. I am desperate

  24. Parent’s and grandparents have legal rights! The mother cannot stop you or your son from seeing your grandchild if you take her to court.

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